TRANSLATION

Title: Worst Fears

Ksorki:
I am still holding the black flag
Not because I am looking for a dogma to identify with
But because a real identity is impossible to develop while living in confinement
You know that;
A letter that I leave behind for when I am not strong enough to think
A hand to grab-
I appreciate everything that we went through
even if afterwards we don’t speak for ages
That is how precarity wedges itself between us
Living in the same city but divided by a sea
I’m looking for the passion that I left in pain’s chambers
And if, while walking through my horrors, I mis-stepped somewhere
I pay for it a thousand times when those I love are forced to pay it with me
And it would be a lie if I proclaimed that I was always true to my beliefs
Self- delusion if I believed I never lifted my hand
I tried to convince myself it was just an accident
But it’s not only conditions that are to blame when you become a monster
And the past is unchangeable
But I want to be your support when the other contacts abandon you
When our worst fears turn into existing realities
I will be waiting for you where we buried the treasures we made
In the instances we forgot about our reservations

Bones:
I’ve been searching for my roots for years
a heart that forgets sympathy, slowly turns off its light amidst discord
reality that stumbles like untied shoelaces
I may leave it to its fate with its face on the sidewalks
dreams are clear in the underground
while the air outside chokes me, my senses are flooded by the dirge
of mother earth, her clock stops
as time helplessly dwindles, from the bottomless gravity that is mercilessly exercised
by the creatures she hosted- they became her worst fears
and mine alongside them, in a war zone
no matter how much love I have, it cannot survive alone
and instead of hatred, indifference pleasurably complements
my luck died one night when I slept on the wheel
queues lined up in front of the noose
the body survives, but the spirit after so many mistakes won't become stronger
an inequity of insecurity that constantly circles me
my arms are so cold that they fail to warm
palms that struggle to grab whatever remains
tell me, what reaction does your disappointed stare await?
I came so far only to see you leave in sadness
failure or bad luck shadows every step towards my goal
I don't know if you will find me, even though I waited
and if you find me, maybe you'll find 1000 pieces so you can add one more
on my pile of fears that continues to get bigger
a familiar black landscape under my chest's skin
and if you naively think my words are abstract
you will find them flying, scattered somewhere in the wind